If only...
If only i had known the past week would have been like it was, i probably wouldnt have gone....
But then having said that, its a very selfish thought to have and so in some warped way im really thankful my Lord gave me one of my biggest challenges yet.
How i got through the last week remains a bit of a mystery. Though i must say i couldnt have done it without constant prayer and as usual those special people (you know who you are) to listen, support and comfort me whenever you could.
Mission seems to always be such an emotional experience for heaps of people.. It never used to be like that for me, but last week topped it! And so lately i think 'well, whats changed?!'
Perhaps its part of the process of growing up and im more aware of things, perhaps its because so much stuff has happened in the past year that im just worn out or perhaps im just over analysing every little thing that happens in my life... believe me the latter is definitely quite possible!
There is so much stuff to say it'l probably spread over a couple of entries (well i do have a habit of rambling).
As a leader it was definitely challenging! However working with a group of people who are willing to share the gospel is always fantastic. One of the talks we had during the week however reminded me that we all have different gifts and theyl be used in different ways. Its a shame then (i think) that some of us werent given the opporunity to use these gifts in the area where they could have been better utilised. BUT having said that i guess it also makes us realise that God makes our plans for us and that we dont always get what we want!!
I feel like i should have done so much more, not so much the material stuff like preparing work and all, but simply getting out there and supporting and encouraging those who most needed it. Not having done this ive realised just how selfish i am! I know ive said this numerous times but its a bit of a hard slap when you realise just how true it is. And its so hard when you know youve made mistakes and try to rectify the problem only to realise youve made matters worse or youve just stuffed it all completely and not much is going to change. Argh the hassles of human life!!
To those who know me really well, i apologise if i come across as quite bold and blunt. If i had a penny for everytime where ive gone and said or done something without seriously thinking it through then i reckon id be a billionaire...... so so sad. Funny how a simple act as inviting someone to play a game such as Take two can remind you just how lasting first impressions are, especially when theyre not so great. What scares me most is why im like this. Its actually quite pathetic thinking you can barely control your actions and words. Makes you realise how weak humans are.
On with mission stuff.... kids section was stressful but i guess it ended on a high note. Hey we survived!! It was disappointing not having the usual number of kids, but still we shared the gospel with 40 kids. And thats heaps better than none! The kiddies were a bit quiet at the start of the week but by wed i think they had warmed to their leaders and so yelling memory verse on Friday was definitely a moment to remember!! Haha too bad they yelled/sang it so loud it was so out of tune! Still they knew the words and actions so our work was not in vain. Sadly though we only had a handful of kids at the Bash to belt out the tune *sigh*
KIds are like sponges. They can wriggle around and seem distracted by other stuff happening around them and u think gee theyre not paying attention, but later on you ask them why theyre doing the craft, what it represents and what they learnt and u realise just how much they really did listen to you!
It was heaps tiring running around playing games, singing songs with BIG actions and quickly handing out craft stuff with a million little reminders running through your mind. The heat definitely didnt help but thats what you do. You go out into the wild world and challenge yourself to spread Gods word! You remind yourself that there are people in worse situations than yourself! People who remain in the dark and probably will do so for eternity that you push on ahead and strive to do the best you can with God holding you up, and working in you and around you.
Strange how my career requires me to get up and stand in front of a group of people and dish out lessons and all and yet i balk at the idea of having to perform a skit or give a talk etc. I panicked big time before last sundays skit in church. I was sure to stuff up and my erm evil cackle?!?!( i was representing a witch) well i hadnt really done it before so i had no real idea as to how it would turn out. Not having learnt the lines off by heart didnt help either. Thankfully things seemed to go well, ive had a few responses from various people and they said it was great, i was suited to the job.... well im not so sure about that but at least we got the message through that was our main aim! Hehe, my relos who were there said "we were slightly worried, we thought you had crossed over to the dark side!" But they thought it was fantastic, so that lifted my spirits up somewhat.
I got to meet the new batch of people to begin at Cornerstone this year (Cornerstone in Canowindra) so that was encouraging, seeing them support Breakout by driving out to Cowra and attend our combined service.
I went on a pretty cool visitation. Its amazing how CSB has been happening for the last 10 years and yet some people dont seem to know what its all about. These kids we visited hadnt been going, only one of them had been. After just playing with the kids and chatting with them they were convinced that coming to breakout was the thing to do. It was so great to see them come for the rest of the week, and also to see them at the bash. I think Scoubies were a bit of a drawcard though :P
I had a pretty kewl lunch with a family whom ive seen grow up the past five years from a distance and finally i met them! Food was yummy!! Home made lasagne with salad and rolls and desert was sorbet/ice cream and pavlova!! Mayz PAVLOVA man!! You missed out :P Ahh but it was filling, thats not to say the food during the week was bad at all though!! No way! In terms of cooking i think this years team did an awesome job. I didnt go hungry and there were very few things that didnt sit well with me, unlike some other memories i have from the past...
Anyway i think il end it here for now, perhaps therel be another entry later this week involving the funnier side of mission like..... haha im gonna make you guys wait! :P
But then having said that, its a very selfish thought to have and so in some warped way im really thankful my Lord gave me one of my biggest challenges yet.
How i got through the last week remains a bit of a mystery. Though i must say i couldnt have done it without constant prayer and as usual those special people (you know who you are) to listen, support and comfort me whenever you could.
Mission seems to always be such an emotional experience for heaps of people.. It never used to be like that for me, but last week topped it! And so lately i think 'well, whats changed?!'
Perhaps its part of the process of growing up and im more aware of things, perhaps its because so much stuff has happened in the past year that im just worn out or perhaps im just over analysing every little thing that happens in my life... believe me the latter is definitely quite possible!
There is so much stuff to say it'l probably spread over a couple of entries (well i do have a habit of rambling).
As a leader it was definitely challenging! However working with a group of people who are willing to share the gospel is always fantastic. One of the talks we had during the week however reminded me that we all have different gifts and theyl be used in different ways. Its a shame then (i think) that some of us werent given the opporunity to use these gifts in the area where they could have been better utilised. BUT having said that i guess it also makes us realise that God makes our plans for us and that we dont always get what we want!!
I feel like i should have done so much more, not so much the material stuff like preparing work and all, but simply getting out there and supporting and encouraging those who most needed it. Not having done this ive realised just how selfish i am! I know ive said this numerous times but its a bit of a hard slap when you realise just how true it is. And its so hard when you know youve made mistakes and try to rectify the problem only to realise youve made matters worse or youve just stuffed it all completely and not much is going to change. Argh the hassles of human life!!
To those who know me really well, i apologise if i come across as quite bold and blunt. If i had a penny for everytime where ive gone and said or done something without seriously thinking it through then i reckon id be a billionaire...... so so sad. Funny how a simple act as inviting someone to play a game such as Take two can remind you just how lasting first impressions are, especially when theyre not so great. What scares me most is why im like this. Its actually quite pathetic thinking you can barely control your actions and words. Makes you realise how weak humans are.
On with mission stuff.... kids section was stressful but i guess it ended on a high note. Hey we survived!! It was disappointing not having the usual number of kids, but still we shared the gospel with 40 kids. And thats heaps better than none! The kiddies were a bit quiet at the start of the week but by wed i think they had warmed to their leaders and so yelling memory verse on Friday was definitely a moment to remember!! Haha too bad they yelled/sang it so loud it was so out of tune! Still they knew the words and actions so our work was not in vain. Sadly though we only had a handful of kids at the Bash to belt out the tune *sigh*
KIds are like sponges. They can wriggle around and seem distracted by other stuff happening around them and u think gee theyre not paying attention, but later on you ask them why theyre doing the craft, what it represents and what they learnt and u realise just how much they really did listen to you!
It was heaps tiring running around playing games, singing songs with BIG actions and quickly handing out craft stuff with a million little reminders running through your mind. The heat definitely didnt help but thats what you do. You go out into the wild world and challenge yourself to spread Gods word! You remind yourself that there are people in worse situations than yourself! People who remain in the dark and probably will do so for eternity that you push on ahead and strive to do the best you can with God holding you up, and working in you and around you.
Strange how my career requires me to get up and stand in front of a group of people and dish out lessons and all and yet i balk at the idea of having to perform a skit or give a talk etc. I panicked big time before last sundays skit in church. I was sure to stuff up and my erm evil cackle?!?!( i was representing a witch) well i hadnt really done it before so i had no real idea as to how it would turn out. Not having learnt the lines off by heart didnt help either. Thankfully things seemed to go well, ive had a few responses from various people and they said it was great, i was suited to the job.... well im not so sure about that but at least we got the message through that was our main aim! Hehe, my relos who were there said "we were slightly worried, we thought you had crossed over to the dark side!" But they thought it was fantastic, so that lifted my spirits up somewhat.
I got to meet the new batch of people to begin at Cornerstone this year (Cornerstone in Canowindra) so that was encouraging, seeing them support Breakout by driving out to Cowra and attend our combined service.
I went on a pretty cool visitation. Its amazing how CSB has been happening for the last 10 years and yet some people dont seem to know what its all about. These kids we visited hadnt been going, only one of them had been. After just playing with the kids and chatting with them they were convinced that coming to breakout was the thing to do. It was so great to see them come for the rest of the week, and also to see them at the bash. I think Scoubies were a bit of a drawcard though :P
I had a pretty kewl lunch with a family whom ive seen grow up the past five years from a distance and finally i met them! Food was yummy!! Home made lasagne with salad and rolls and desert was sorbet/ice cream and pavlova!! Mayz PAVLOVA man!! You missed out :P Ahh but it was filling, thats not to say the food during the week was bad at all though!! No way! In terms of cooking i think this years team did an awesome job. I didnt go hungry and there were very few things that didnt sit well with me, unlike some other memories i have from the past...
Anyway i think il end it here for now, perhaps therel be another entry later this week involving the funnier side of mission like..... haha im gonna make you guys wait! :P
posted by Jenay at
12:56 AM
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